OK, let’s say that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was somehow impregnated by the Holy Spirit (are we talking avian bestiality here?) without “the agency of a human father,” and that she was still a virgin when Jesus was born. I don’t believe that, but apparently a third of the world’s population do. Well, technically a little over half the people on the planet do, because Muslims also believe in Jesus, and that he was born of the Virgin Mary – who, interestingly, is the only woman mentioned by name (Maryam) in the entire Qur’an. Seems you folks have more in common than you realize.
Anyway, the point is that Jesus’ mom is, to this day, still referred to as the Virgin Mary. Immaculate conception aside, are you telling me that she and Joseph never consummated their relationship? They never had sex? Even though Joseph was a carpenter, and therefore “good with his hands,” they never “knocked sandals,” to use the parlance of the day? And considering their son literally worked miracles, they never thought about trying for another miracle worker?
Believe it or not, many Christians – including Anglicans, Lutherans, and Methodists – believe that Mary died a virgin as well. Frankly, I’d rather be crucified.
But what’s stranger still is that no one ever refers to Joseph as the Virgin Joseph, or the Virgin Father. Does that imply that he got a little action before he was married, or perhaps something on the side? Or should we be calling him Joseph the Celibate? Joseph the Chaste?