Does God Play Games?

Is there a secret version of the Bible that I don’t know about? One that’s being covertly circulated among today’s Christians here in America?

I have to wonder, because I went to church every Sunday for the first 15 years of my life. I also attended Sunday school. My father was a Deacon in the Catholic Church, having earned a doctorate in theology, and my mom volunteered as a secretary for the local parish.

But many of the words and actions of today’s most vocal Christians seem utterly foreign to me. They profess their faith, but seem to act according to an entirely different doctrine.

So Many False Followers
As one example, I could focus on the Christians who go to church every Sunday in luxury automobiles and designer clothes. I do recall a Bible passage along the lines of, “Whoever has two coats must share with anyone who has none; and whoever has food must do likewise.” Does Jesus want you rolling in to Sunday services in luxury vehicles that are designed primarily to flaunt one’s wealth and cost enough to feed a family of four for 10 years (quite literally…I did the math)? Is that how the Bible teaches us to behave? Is that how Jesus rolled? What about the meek inheriting the Earth?

I could also focus on the behavior of certain Christian conservatives, who often object to programs that help the poor and less fortunate, who seem far more eager to strike down their enemies than to turn the other cheek, and who focus on hate and intolerance when so much of their Lord’s message is about love and tolerance. What would Jesus do? Would Jesus oppose taxing the rich to serve the poor? Would Jesus build a wall? Would Jesus own an assault rifle?

Instead, I think I’ll take this in an entirely different and unexpected direction. I’m going to talk about professional athletes. Specifically, those who all too often invoke God in their preparations, performances, and celebrations.

Does Jesus Score…or Save?
I love sports. I’m not a betting man, and neither was Jesus…as far as I can tell. But I do love sports, for the benefits they bring to participants (from physical activity to learning to work together in harmony towards a goal) as well as for the entertainment and joy they provide spectators.

But why is it that some people clearly believe that God actually takes sides in such spectacles? Given all the misery and suffering in the world, why do people think God has any vested interest in who wins or loses something as trivial – in the grand scheme of things – as a game? Yet so many athletes, coaches, and fans invoke the blessings of their chosen God before, during, and after sporting events.

Even as an atheist, I’ve always found this behavior to be somewhat sacrilegious. Because, after all, these are just games. Our team wants to beat their team, to prove that we are more talented than they are, or at least willing to work harder – not that we are somehow “better” children of God then those other “lesser” children of God.

And for those who argue that it’s more than just a game, that modern professional sports are ultimately a business, this only makes such prayers and praise all the more sacrilegious. Instead of asking for God’s blessings to perform better than another group of individuals for the sake of entertainment, you are asking God to help you get rich – at the expense of others. Or, in the case of most professional athletes, even richer – and often filthy rich. Is that a lesson from the Bible? What would Jesus do? Was he all about gettin’ paid?

Let’s overlook the fact that many modern sports, their superstar athletes, and their legions of tribal fans engage in borderline idolatry. And the fact that many sporting events are played on the Sabbath, turning a day that’s supposed to be sacred into a day of frivolous spectacle and shameless profit. Even though, right there, we have evidence that fans, athletes, and owners are already violating 20 percent of God’s commandments.

But let’s put all that aside for a moment and ask whether it jives with the teachings of the Bible, Torah, or Qur’an to ask God to help you beat your rivals for financial gain and personal glory? And do you really believe that God helped you score that goal? Of all the things that God is supposed to be involved in, do you sincerely believe that this omnipotent being is actively favoring you to succeed in a sporting event, to provide you with personal glory and riches at the expense of someone else?

It’s strange that you rarely see a doctor, scientist, or winner of the Nobel Peace Prize thanking God for helping them achieve success or glory, when – if God were willing to intervene to help someone achieve success and glory – those are the kinds of things one would assume God would get involved with, at least if you take the Bible and its lessons to heart.

God-Given Greed?
It’s just as strange to see professional athletes talking about their God-given talent. And some of that talk goes beyond sacrilege and borders on blasphemy.

For example, American football player and infamous press conference pouter Cam Newton appeared in a Super Bowl advertisement entitled Cam’s Prayer. This “prayer” was a paid endorsement to help himself and others achieve even greater wealth (he earned $24 million the previous year, while the company who paid him to endorse their product had earnings in excess of $233 billion).

The voiceover – which the athlete surely approved, as it’s designed to make the viewer think it’s actually him speaking (and it may, in fact, be him speaking) – claims that God has given him these gifts, his talent as an athlete, so that he could be the best, that he could succeed, and gain wealth and glory by triumphing over his fellow man. It proclaims: “You placed purpose on my shoulders so now I come to you. Lord, give me the strength to finish this… my way.” Not God’s way, mind you, but his way. As if to say, damn it, God, give me what I want! You made me great (or so my Mommy says) now give me the glory and riches I deserve!!!

That doesn’t sound like the God I read about in the Bible. Bestowing special gifts on select individuals so that they can achieve riches and glory? No, I don’t think so. According to the Torah and Bible, God is more interested in putting gruesome burdens and obstacles into people’s lives to test their faith – not providing them with advantages that enable them to gain individual wealth, privilege, and glory.

But claims of divine favoritism are prevalent in the world of professional sports. Athletes flash shirts saying “I Belong To Jesus” as they mug for the camera and then thank the Lord for making them a winner before driving off in their Lamborghini to their mega-mansion so they can count their money. Sounds to me like they belong to someone else, perhaps even Satan.

Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there is some other version of the Bible, some other Christian doctrine that guides these people. For there is nothing in the Bible I’ve read that condones such behavior. In fact, there’s plenty that not only contradicts it, but outright condemns it as well.

What Would Jesus Do?
Which leaves me wondering, what sort of athlete would Jesus be? Would Jesus even take the time to play a sport? Or would he spend what little time he had in this world, what little time any of us have, and help those who are in need? And I’m not talking about making a handful of pro-bono tweets for a charity and a contractual appearance at a benefit dinner, but a full-on commitment to helping those in need.

Sure, you could argue that people are in need of entertainment. But that’s not really true, is it? No, people want entertainment. They need food, shelter, and compassion. There’s a big difference between want and need, just as there is a big difference between the what Cam Newton does and what Mahatma Gandhi did. And Gandhi wasn’t even a Christian.

Thought of the Day: The Virgin Mary

OK, let’s say that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was somehow impregnated by the Holy Spirit (are we talking avian bestiality here?) without “the agency of a human father,” and that she was still a virgin when Jesus was born. I don’t believe that, but apparently a third of the world’s population do. Well, technically a little over half the people on the planet do, because Muslims also believe in Jesus, and that he was born of the Virgin Mary – who, interestingly, is the only woman mentioned by name (Maryam) in the entire Qur’an. Seems you folks have more in common than you realize.

Anyway, the point is that Jesus’ mom is, to this day, still referred to as the Virgin Mary. Immaculate conception aside, are you telling me that she and Joseph never consummated their relationship? They never had sex? Even though Joseph was a carpenter, and therefore “good with his hands,” they never “knocked sandals,” to use the parlance of the day? And considering their son literally worked miracles, they never thought about trying for another miracle worker?

Believe it or not, many Christians – including Anglicans, Lutherans, and Methodists – believe that Mary died a virgin as well. Frankly, I’d rather be crucified.

But what’s stranger still is that no one ever refers to Joseph as the Virgin Joseph, or the Virgin Father. Does that imply that he got a little action before he was married, or perhaps something on the side? Or should we be calling him Joseph the Celibate? Joseph the Chaste?

Thought of the Day: Would Jesus Own A Gun?

GunOfGod

I think it’s safe to say that there is a considerable overlap between Christian conservatives and those who favor minimal (if any at all) restrictions on gun sales and ownership in this country. But, to use the popular evangelical question, what would Jesus do? Would Jesus own a gun? Would Jesus be in favor of citizens owning semi-automatic weapons? Would Jesus oppose tougher restrictions on gun sales and ownership? To quote the Bible:

Exodus 14:14 – The Lord will fight for you; you have only to be still.

Samuel 2:9 – It is not by strength that one prevails.

Ecclesiastes 9:18 – Wisdom is better than weapons of war.

Hosea 2:18 – Bow/sword/battle I will abolish from the land.

Matthew 5:38-42 – Do not resist one who is evil.

Luke 6:27 – Love your enemies; bless those who persecute you.

Peter 3:8 – Do not return evil for evil.

Matthew 26:52 – All who take the sword will perish by the sword.

Thought of the Day: The Son of God

SOGI thought about going to see the Son of God movie. You know the one, where Jesus is this dreamboat of a guy. Seriously, have you seen the previews? I think it was a miracle that he had time for miracles in between all the time he must have spent at the gym and salon. They should have called it Jesus: The Original Metrosexual. In the end, I decided not to waste my time on this flick because I already know how it ends. And it’s a good thing he spent all that time on his triceps, because he’s going to need them…big time.