Thought of the Day: Crazy Conservatives and Their Conspiracy Theories

If liberals were even half as crazy as conservatives, then they would be pushing theories like claiming that the media actually conspired to get Trump elected, simply to boost their ratings and readership over what they knew, and accurately so, would be an epic, endless shit show of emotional and intellectual immaturity from our nation’s highest office.

In a word, “Gold, Jerry. Gold!

PS – And speaking of the news media, do you know who the luckiest man in the world is right now? Bill Cosby. Yes, his reputation is destroyed, he may likely be convicted, and he hopefully will get exactly what he deserves. But he is so fortunate that Trump and his shit show are dominating the news cycle. Otherwise, the Cosby trial would be getting the 24/7 OJ treatment, with full news coverage dissecting every detail of the accusations and testimony.

Thought of the Day: The Greatness of God

Cult leader and mass murderer David Koresh.

Why is it that some people can walk into a crowded market and blow themselves up, killing hundreds in the name of their God? Is it because they think it’s part of God’s plan? It seems like everybody thinks they are special, that God has put them on this planet for some amazing purpose (well, except for us atheists).

But what if God didn’t have any special plans for you? After all, everyone can’t be special. Otherwise, no one would be special, right?

So what if God’s purpose for you is to lead a relatively unremarkable life? Would you defy God and demand more?

Cult leader and mass murderer Jim Jones.

And doesn’t it seem strange that religious extremists always tend to lead relatively unremarkable lives until they decide to embrace religious extremism? You never hear of a cult leader who excelled at math, or a suicide bomber who was a gifted musician. No, they tend to be your average, run-of-the-mill nobodies – right up until the moment that they decide to commit mass murder and then blame it on their God.

For most of these “believers,” especially the sad ones who take their belief to the extreme, their actions seem to be more about their own presumed greatness of themselves rather than the presumed greatness of their God.

Thought of the Day: Altruism

The other day I helped a blind woman cross the street. I didn’t do it for money, thanks, recognition, or out of fear that some deity would punish me if I didn’t. No, I simply did it because someone needed help, and I could provide it. And, man, did it feel good!

Over the years I’ve drank a lot of booze, smoked plenty of dope, and had some really amazing sex, but nothing can compare to the pure joy of helping a fellow human in need. And that is arguably the most important lesson we can learn in life.

Thought of the Day: The Virgin Mary

OK, let’s say that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was somehow impregnated by the Holy Spirit (are we talking avian bestiality here?) without “the agency of a human father,” and that she was still a virgin when Jesus was born. I don’t believe that, but apparently a third of the world’s population do. Well, technically a little over half the people on the planet do, because Muslims also believe in Jesus, and that he was born of the Virgin Mary – who, interestingly, is the only woman mentioned by name (Maryam) in the entire Qur’an. Seems you folks have more in common than you realize.

Anyway, the point is that Jesus’ mom is, to this day, still referred to as the Virgin Mary. Immaculate conception aside, are you telling me that she and Joseph never consummated their relationship? They never had sex? Even though Joseph was a carpenter, and therefore “good with his hands,” they never “knocked sandals,” to use the parlance of the day? And considering their son literally worked miracles, they never thought about trying for another miracle worker?

Believe it or not, many Christians – including Anglicans, Lutherans, and Methodists – believe that Mary died a virgin as well. Frankly, I’d rather be crucified.

But what’s stranger still is that no one ever refers to Joseph as the Virgin Joseph, or the Virgin Father. Does that imply that he got a little action before he was married, or perhaps something on the side? Or should we be calling him Joseph the Celibate? Joseph the Chaste?

Thought of the Day: The Bay of Pigs

pigletinletIs it me, or would The Bay of Pigs be a fantastic name for a bar? Or perhaps for a nightclub. Yes, better for a nightclub. No one goes to a nightclub with noble intent. We all – men as well as women – go there with the basest motivations. No one is looking for a life partner. We’re just looking for meat, to help us get our rocks off. So, in that sense, it really is a Bay of Pigs.

Fear and “Wire Tapping” in Amerika

What’s the worst thing about a pathological liar? No, not the lying; you get used to that, even expect it from them…when they speak, they lie. The worst part is when they get caught in a lie and still insist that it’s true.

A liar has no respect for the truth. And it’s one thing to try to deceive someone to gain an unfair advantage. But when that deceit is exposed and the liar still continues to perpetrate the lie, then it is clear that they have no respect for anyone – including themselves.

Donald Trump is a pathological liar. He has no respect for the truth. And his unrepentant dishonesty, especially in ace of the facts exposing his lies, shows that he has no respect for us, either.

Liar in Chief
When Trump claimed more than a month ago, on March 4th, that President Barack Obama had wiretapped his residence at Trump Tower during last year’s presidential campaign, he failed to provide any evidence to substantiate this public accusation. And it is a huge accusation, claiming that the President of the United States deliberately broke the law – the kind of stuff Nixon was infamously guilty of.

Naturally, Trump doubled-down on his claim, repeatedly insisting it was true yet refusing to offer any proof. And everyone who has looked into this outlandish accusation – from the Director of the FBI to the Department of Justice to fellow Republicans such as House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes – have gone on record as saying that there’s absolutely no evidence to support it. Which is the polite way of saying that it’s a lie. Yes, the FBI, Department of Justice, and Congress have all confirmed that Trump has lied to the American public…to the entire world.

And that’s when Trump started backpedaling, with both he and his handlers suddenly claiming that when he accused Obama of wiretapping he didn’t really mean wiretapping. Of course, that’s typical of Trump, making a bold lie and then denying that he said it – despite the hard, public evidence that proves he did.

In this case, however, Trump and his lie factory are claiming that the evidence of his “vagueness” was in the punctuation. Namely that since Trump used quotation marks around the words – “wire tapping” – that he didn’t actually mean wiretapping. In other words, it’s not a lie because he didn’t really mean it. Kind of like when I say Donald Trump loves “golden showers.” Or, perhaps more accurately, Donald Trump “loves” golden showers.

And Trump’s lie about what he said – or meant to say – might have covered his original lie, except that he only used quotation marks in two of the four tweets he made accusing Obama of the crime. In the other two tweets, there were no quotation marks – just straight-up accusations that Obama was tapping his phones. So nice try, Donny, but that’s yet another lie. And two lies don’t make a right, or a truth, even if you put one of them in quotation marks.

The Sadness Behind His Madness
In what’s become the typical Trumpian defense, his lie factory is now arguing (the justifications change, but the lie remains the same) that the reason the the FBI, Department of Justice, and Congress are all calling him a liar is because they don’t have all the evidence. So, naturally, they asked the White House to produce this evidence they keep referring to, yet Trump and his handlers refuse to produce any such evidence. It’s like he and his entire team have the intellectual and emotional equivalency of a 4-year-old boy.

The best speculation I can make is that Trump might be thinking of his former National Security Adviser, Mike Flynn, who resigned in disgrace after being caught lying to Congress (kind of like Trump, eh?). Flynn, as you’ll recall, lied about discussing the sanctions – which had just been imposed by the United States because Russia had interfered with our election – with the Russian Ambassador during the campaign. That conversation took place the day the sanctions were announced, with the implication being that Flynn was reassuring the Russians that if Trump gets elected he will repeal the sanctions (a promise he’s only made partially good on…seems he lies to everyone).

How do we know this? Not because Trump Tower or anyone in the Trump campaign were being surveilled, wiretapped, or even “wire tapped.”  The guy Flynn was talking to, the most senior representative of what has historically been America’s greatest adversary, was the target of an ongoing FBI counterintelligence investigation. As someone qualified to be appointed National Security Adviser, Flynn should have known that the Russian Ambassador was under surveillance. Idiot.

Trump’s Russian Agent Adviser
No matter what Trump and his lair of liars say, FBI Director James Comey and NSA Director Michael Rogers have both testified before Congress that Russia had indeed interfered with the election in an attempt to help Trump and hurt Clinton. That is no longer speculation…it’s now a confirmed fact. The investigation is now looking into whether or not Trump and his team colluded with a foreign power – Russia – in an effort to manipulate the election in his favor. And Flynn, for his part, has asked for immunity in exchange for his testimony, which may indicate that he feels he has violated the law in some way, all of which should be very disturbing news for the Trump administration.

Equally disturbing is the revelation that Flynn, four days after Trump made his baseless accusations, registered with the Department of Justice as “an agent of a foreign government.” And it appears to be a retroactive move, as he was being paid $530,000 to help overthrow the Turkish government (our ally, by the way) while also working for the Trump presidential campaign last year. Which means that he was working for a foreign government while sitting in on classified national security briefings with Donald Trump.

That’s right, Trump’s original National Security Adviser, and one of his senior-most advisers during the campaign, was a foreign agent at the time. And we have since learned that Flynn failed to disclose (in other words, he lied…once again) that he had received an additional $150,000 in overseas payments – some of which came from Russia’s official state propaganda tool, RT, which is the modern equivalent of the Soviet-era Pravda. Making Russia America great again!

Commander in Disbelief
Perhaps more disturbing than Trump’s incessant lying is how comfortable he is telling these lies – to the American public, and the entire world. He said, “So if I tweet two or three or four or five times a day, and if most of them are good, and I really want them all to be good, but if I make one mistake in a month — this one I don’t think is going to prove to be a mistake at all.”

Is that really what we deserve from the President of the United States…one false public statement a month? That doesn’t sound like “winning” to me. Of course, in typical Trump fashion, he is being overly generous about his abilities, as it’s been more like one lie per day. Or, in the case of March 4th, 2017, one lie repeated four times in one day, and then nearly every day for an entire month (perhaps it even be for years, considering how long he refused to admit his lie about Obama’s birth certificate for years after the document in question was produced and verified – unlike Trump’s tax returns). Meanwhile, the world – both friends and foes alike – must now decide for itself which of the public declarations made by the man with the nuke codes are lies and which, if any, we should believe. America has never been “less great” than it is right now.

The Bottom Line
Despite the fact that Trump continues to stick to this blatant lie, President Obama did not wiretap Trump Tower. Obama did not wiretap Donald Trump. Obama did not wiretap anyone in the Trump campaign. Obama did not conduct any type of surveillance on Trump Tower. Obama did not conduct any type of surveillance of Donald Trump. Obama did not conduct any type of surveillance of anyone in the Trump campaign. These are lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, and more lies. You can even put them in quotation marks, but they will still be lies.

The FBI routinely conducts surveillance on foreign nationals it suspects of presenting a threat to America. Always has, and always will, as part of their day-to-day mission of keeping America safe. And at least one senior member of Trump’s transition team, Mike Flynn, was working as a paid agent of a foreign power at the time, met with a foreign national who was under FBI surveillance. And when you meet with someone who is under FBI surveillance, that meeting will be recorded…not because Flynn was being wiretapped, but because the type of people Flynn was doing business with were being wiretapped.

And that’s the real question you should be asking yourself at this point: why was the Trump transition team meeting with people the FBI were already investigating? If these people are suspicious enough to warrant FBI surveillance, then what sort of dealings and discussions were Trump’s people having with them?

Yet despite all of this, the latest Breitbart headline – “Democrats Target Nunes After He Reveals That Trump Transition Team Was Surveilled” – aims to deceive you into thinking that Nunes has somehow debunked Trump’s lies. Why? Probably because they don’t want you wondering why they were meeting with foreign agents under FBI surveillance.

Again, it was the foreign agents who the Trump transition were meeting with that were surveilled. If the FBI are listening to the conversations of Russian spies, as they should be, and several members of the Trump transition team – including, as we have since learned, his own son-in-law and senior adviser, Jared Kushner – decide to have clandestine meetings with these suspicious characters, then they are going to be recorded – just as all conversations with these enemy agents are, no matter who is meeting with them. How do you not understand this?

Maybe it’s because you morons love Russia so much that you cannot imagine that anyone from that authoritarian regime would want to do America harm (though the fact that the Russian military are stationed at the same base where their Syrian comrades launched a chemical weapons attack on civilians indicates that they are fine with such behavior; not to mention the fact that Trump gave them a heads up, which is probably why the 59 missiles we fired only managed to destroy six jets), so let me try putting it another way. You know the military is targeting Al Qaeda, ISIS, and other terrorist organizations, right? If you – for whatever reason – decide to visit one of those “bad hombres” and we happen to drop a bomb on their house that day, that does not mean the US military was targeting you, numbnuts.

Rather than admit the truth, Trump continues to lie to the American public. But if you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas. And the Trump administration appears to be infested.