I was told by right-wing Christian Americans that Barack Obama was a Muslim who was going to hand our nation over to the terrorists. Well, it’s been 2,913 days and so far nothing even remotely like that. He has failed to declare his allegiance to Allah and he’s been busy killing more Muslim terrorists than any American president in history. So he must be waiting for the last minute, right? Because all those idiots can’t be wrong, can they? It should be an exciting week!