I’m sure God (or whatever you call your imaginary overlord in the sky) thought about more traditional apocalyptical warning signs, like raining locusts. But he (or she) knew there would be locust deniers. The Republicans would simply hire a few entomologists willing to argue that locust rains are a natural, cyclical occurrence that has nothing to do with doomsday – or the overt manipulation of religion for political gain.
So take note, people. And locust deniers. The end is near!