How To Ensure Your Daughter Gets The Clap

clapRI’m old enough to remember the introduction of the Clapper, a device that turns your lights – or any electronic device – on and off with the simple sound of your hands clapping together. And anyone old enough to remember it is also old enough to remember that the term “clap” is also slang for gonorrhea.

And yet now we have this, the Clap-Off Bra,* a brassiere that comes off with the sound of your hands clapping together. Is it really that difficult for some guys to unfasten a woman’s bra? If you lack the dexterity to do so, then you probably have no business accessing what’s underneath that bra – let alone the rest of the female anatomy.

clapBBut technology marches on. The upside? You can now literally spank the bra off your lady friend. The downside? Best to avoid theaters and other venues in which there might be clapping. It might lead to a standing ovation.

*For the record, you will find various references to both the Clap-Off Bra and the Clap Bra as a legitimate product. While it does indeed exist, it has not – as of this posting – been brought to market. So take this all with a clap of salt.